The Wig Pig Comes To Dinner
~Life is more fun when you can laugh at yourself ~
One of the Bunny Prince's favorite times of day around the castle was dinner time. His mother, the Queen Bunny or his dad, the Bunny King, would cook dinner, but they usually had help from the Shiny Chef. The Shiny Chef was called the Shiny Chef because she kept everything in the royal kitchen clean and shiny.
Everyone was seated and ready to start, and the Hog Dog was roaming around beneath the big, round dinner table, hoping that some delicious food would fall on the floor, so that he could gobble it right up.
Dinner was on the table and the Bunny Prince was very hungry, so after saying his thank you's, he started eating right away. He took a big forkful of carrot spaghetti and filled his mouth. There was one long spaghetti hanging from his lips as he was chewing, so he just slurped it up. It looked like a long orange worm wiggling into his mouth.
"Excuse me, young bunny" said his mother, "but that's no way to eat carrot spaghetti."
"It isn't?" asked the Bunny Prince, and then he kept on eating.
During the meal, the Bunny Prince made very loud munching sounds as he ate. He spilled some lemonade as he reached across the table for more spaghetti sauce. Worst of all, when he was finished eating, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
The Bunny King and the Queen Bunny looked at each other and then they looked over at the Bunny Prince. "You know," said the Queen Bunny to the Bunny Prince, "I think that it's about time that we invite the Wig Pig over for dinner."
"The Wig Pig? Who's the Wig Pig?" asked the Bunny Prince.
"He's the one who teaches all the young ones about manners" said the Bunny King.
The Queen Bunny explained that "manners" meant there were certain proper ways to eat and certain ways to behave. There were things to do during dinner and other things not to do. There were rules to be followed which were called "manners," and the Wig Pig was the special pig who knew all about manners.
"You know what? This will be fun!" said the Queen Bunny. "You can invite some of your friends to join us when the Wig Pig comes to dinner."
"How about the Duchess of Duck, and Fieldish? And what about the Hat Cat? Can they all be invited? asked the Bunny Prince.
"Of course" answered the Queen Bunny. "You invite your friends and I'll invite the Wig Pig. The dinner party will be the day after tomorrow. How does that sound?”
"That sounds good, Mom" said the Bunny Prince "but why is he called the Wig Pig?"
"He's called the Wig Pig because like most pigs, he is bald" said the Queen Bunny. "He wears a wig on his head because it makes him feel less ordinary. "
That was good enough for the Bunny Prince, so the next day he went around inviting his best friends to dinner. None of them had ever heard of the Wig Pig before, so everyone was excited about coming.
When the big night finally arrived, the excitement mounted. The Bunny Prince, the Duchess of Duck, Fieldish the Fieldmouse and the Hat Cat, all sat next to one another. And when the Wig Pig arrived, he sat right across from them, between the Bunny King and the Queen bunny. The Hog Dog was waddling round and around the table, waiting for a snack to fall his way, and being careful not to tip over too soon.
Finally, the Shiny Chef brought out the food. There was delicious green cream cheese, warm pear salad, soup, different kinds of roasted nuts, sugar peas, and the Bunny Prince's favorite - carrot spaghetti. For desert, the Shiny Chef had made chocolate pie! Everyone thanked the Chef and dinner began.
The Duchess of Duck loved sugar peas, so she ate them right off her plate without a fork. She simply bobbed her head down and picked them up with her duck bill.
"Ahhmm..." grunted the Wig Pig with a slight smile as he looked at the Duchess. "Peas are to be eaten with a fork, if you please." The Duchess was a little embarrassed, but then she picked up her fork and started using it.
The Bunny Prince really loved the soup, so he grabbed his spoon and just scooped it into his mouth as fast as he could, making loud slurping sounds as he ate.
"Now now, your Royal Highness" said the Wig Pig to the Bunny Prince, "soup is to be eaten slowly, and without all that slurping noise. Like this..." The Wig Pig sipped just a little soup, silently and bit by bit.
Next, it was Fieldish who attracted the attention of the Wig Pig. Fieldish had put lots of green cream cheese on his plate, but it was more than he could finish. He had left quite a large lump of it uneaten.
"Always clean your plate" said the Wig Pig to Fieldish. "Only take as much as you can really eat, so that you won't waste any."
All during dinner, it seemed as if everyone except the Hat Cat had broken some sort of "manners" rule, according to the Wig Pig. Even the Queen Bunny and the Bunny King had put the salt and pepper too far out of everyone's reach.
Finally, the Hat Cat finished his carrot spaghetti. First he wiped his mouth with his paws and then licked his paws with his tongue.
"I'm afraid that will never do" the Wig Pig said to the Hat Cat. "You must always use your napkin to wipe yourself clean."
The Bunny Prince looked around at all of his friends and none of them seemed to be having a very good time. They were learning about manners all right, but the Bunny Prince knew that they would probably be having a lot more fun if that stuffy old Wig Pig weren't around. He had just too many rules.
The Wig Pig had been so busy telling everyone how to act that he had not even finished his own warm pear salad or soup. The Wig Pig moved his soup bowl in front of him to begin eating it, and as he did, the Bunny King looked at him and spoke.
"Master Wig Pig," said the Bunny King "On behalf of the royal family and all of our friends here tonight, I would like to thank you for coming to dinner and for teaching us all about the fine art of manners. You have done an excellent job!"
The Wig Pig felt quite proud. He knew that the proper thing to do was to say thank you for the kind words. So the Wig Pig stood up and bowed his head forward, saying "Thank you, your Bunnyness."
And that's when it happened. Just as the Wig Pig bowed his head and was saying thank you, his yellow straw wig began to slip forward. It slipped more, and more, and then all of a sudden - PLOP, the wig fell right into his soup!
The Wig Pig was so embarrassed that his face turned as red as a cherry. Then suddenly, from down on the floor next to the table, there was a deep, loud laughing sound. It was the Hog Dog and he was laughing so hard at what had just happened to the Wig Pig that he lost his balance and tipped over. He wiggled his four legs in the air, doing the Hog Dog Boogie, his huge tummy shaking with laughter.
When they saw the Hog Dog laughing, everyone else wanted to laugh too, but they all were afraid it might not be good manners.
Then all at once, the Wig Pig's face turned into a big smile, and he was the first one at the table to laugh out loud. He was laughing at himself!
When that happened, everyone else knew that it was okay to laugh, and they all joined in, laughing so hard that some of them had tears in their eyes.
As they were all laughing, the Wig Pig pulled his wig out of his soup. It was dripping into his bowl as he held it up.
"This must go!" said the Wig Pig, and he tossed the wig ungracefully over to the garbage pail in the corner of the dining room. As the wet wig went flying through the air, an amazing thing happened, something that no one expected — The Hog Dog actually leaped up off his back and caught the soupy wig in his mouth.
"Mmmm" said the Hog Dog as he landed back on the floor, chomping on the succulent wig. "This is deeelicious!"
Well, this was about the funniest and the most disgusting thing that anyone had ever seen the Hog Dog do; and then the Hog Dog held the soup-drenched wig up over his open mouth and wrung it out, so that he could get the very last drop of soup.
"Yuk!" said the Bunny Prince and his friends all at the same time.
The rest of the dinner and desert was a lot more fun than the beginning, and neither the Bunny Prince nor anyone else at the table ever forgot about that crazy night - the night the Wig Pig came to dinner.
~ THE END ~